People Pleasing Massacre

A poem

From this tomb
I look at the massacre
I’ve made of myself
Taking in every ripple of depression
The marches of its succession
Binging and fasting like waves sloshing
Overwhelming loose skin
Drinking in the scars
Grooves deeper than can be seen
Slashes from the blade
Tracks worn into this sick façade
Embedded in the tomb
For me, there’s no room
Depressions refusal to be released
Sagging waves of torment
Dropping into the scalding water
Reddening surface and silver deep
Lie back
Just lie back let it sink in
Conquer the concave slave
Drench black-eyed face under
Revell in the nearing thunder
I can see through my corpse to the decomposition
My life’s mission
Taking in their rot
I’m rotting alive
No need to be a giver
They keep taking
Clawing at the veins
Sucking my blood with straws
Lie back further
Steer across the landscape
It ain’t too horrifying from this angle
The sags tighten
Silver streaks lighten
Red fades to blush
Embrace the incoming hush
I’ll lie here
Lie to myself for a while
Let the silver lining twinkle
A perspective shift
A momentary lift.

© Natasha Sinclair

No Good Grief

Gnashing and gnawing at my innards
Viscera shredded; trauma tombs embedded
Stitch in bells, weigh down the nauseating flapping
Jangle a euphonious jingle
Steady placement of chinked shield
Conceal agonies.

U-bend blocked
There my guilt brims
Shame for wishing away rapid cell division
Liquor and voluntary scalding
Natures way away
Life folding poured out
Out of Order; terror of disorder

For two, a freshly dug hole
The morning after
Mourning follows
Nipping at heals with the snow
A hollow in another garden
There, a piece of my heart lays
A depression for my first’s succession

She wants to see my torment on display
To harvest in morbid grief games
Pretend she’s just the same
Catfish loss-mother
Conspiring tiring
Yearning to reap from the suffering leaks of my soul
Observe my lamentations trapped in a fishbowl
To don a cape, be in control
Prodding my wounds, infecting

Imitation empath storing stories
Catalogued, indexed, held hostage
Latching of grief vampires
Sucking ephemeral life’s marrow
Chipping stones off my bones

An archaeologist scraping the shovel
No delicate brushing of bristles
Attention desperation
Desecrating my pain
Self-appointed steward on my cradles grave.

Concoction: A mini anthology of shorts

Extract from ‘Shadows in the Garden’ by G G Flavell as featured in ‘Concoction’

Out now on eBook and Paperback from Amazon worldwide.

eBook link

Wild Flower Weeds

First, the dense green leaves; push sunward from between the cracks.

Sprouting from the over nurtured, the ill valued; prisons of possession.

The Dandies bid for life, to bloom, be free; prevailing through destruction and control.

Neighbours spray them relentlessly; Killer with killers.

Down on pristine knees; a homicidal mission.

One never understood that murderous desire.

Holding admiration for their persistence to live; punching through suffocating concrete.

Taking back the malnourished earth; grey to green.

Converting the controlled over preened to wild and free.

Children blow wishes into the ether from their seed heads.

How can one not appreciate the beauty, innocence, thirst for life and freedom mirrored in the Dandelion.

It offers much, this humble wild flower weed.

The regard of wild things as weeds, one may never understand.

Like unruly children and nonconformist adults; weeds of society.

Pests of the pretentious empty garden; still they persist.

They bloom.

(c) Natasha Sinclair 2019, All rights reserved.